What if?
by mad4tv
Summary: This is going to (hopefully) be a series of one-shots about alternative (endings to) storylines. I have a couple in mind already but if anyone wants to recommend Ste and/or John Paul related plots that you'd like an alternative ending to (including what you want the result to be), just let me know!
1. Chapter 1: The date

**The date**

_What if, on the 9__th__ January 2014, John Paul hadn't realised that Finn had attacked Marlena as he was leaving detention duty that night? What if he had gone on his date with Ste? Would things have transpired differently?_

* * *

><p>John Paul made his way to The Dog, hands in pockets and a spring in his step. Why he had a spring in his step, he wasn't sure. He was running slightly late due to having to cover detention - that was definitely a decent reason - but perhaps he was excited about his date with Ste. John Paul almost hesitated: never would he have imagined that the words 'excited', 'date' and 'Ste' would ever appear together in the same sentence, but it did.<p>

xxx

He was wrong to be excited about his date, John Paul realised as he entered The Dog and spotted Danny sitting at a table with Ste. Nonetheless, John Paul approached them with a forced grin on his face.

"Hey" he greeted through gritted teeth, "Sorry I'm late"

Ste shrugged, "It's no problem"

Danny just smiled at John Paul expectantly. John Paul realised that he wouldn't be leaving any time soon, so he took a deep breath.

"Another round?" he offered. The other two nodded in agreement and John Paul sighed as he headed over to the bar.

xxx

As John Paul gulped down his pint of beer he realised that the cliché was right: _three was definitely a crowd_. And not a fun party crowd either. No, this was an 'I'm-on-a-date-with-a-guy-who-I-couldn't-stand-a-couple-of-weeks-ago-as-well-as-his-dad-who-I-was-having-an-affair-with-a-few-months-ago' kind of crowd. Awkward, to say the least. Danny noticed the empty glasses on the table and stood up.

"The next round's on me" he stated before sauntering over to the bar. Ste leant over the table towards John Paul.

"I'm so sorry about my dad" he apologised earnestly. John Paul shook his head,

"It's fine" he reassured him, though he was disappointed, "I'm the one who kept you waiting"

"Well you were on detention duty, right?"

John Paul nodded, "Yeah, but the weird thing is, Danny was supposed to be doing it. He made it seem like there was an emergency, so I offered to do it instead"

"Strange, 'cos he hasn't said anything about it"

"Well maybe he really wanted to celebrate your birthday with you. This is the first one after all, which is kind of a sweet thought-"

"Or the more likely one is that he didn't want us to go out tonight because he still wants to be with you" Ste retorted bitterly.

John Paul scoffed, "Well the feeling isn't mutual"

"Good" Ste responded contentedly. After noticing John Paul's quizzical expression he covered his tracks to prevent John Paul from figuring out his feelings, "I mean - as I said the other week - he's married with kids. You know, off-limits"

John Paul nodded uncomfortably, which made Ste feel guilty so he elaborated.

"Plus, you don't deserve to be anyone's dirty little secret anymore"

John Paul smiled, "That's what I keep telling myself, but I just keep falling into the same trap over and over" he shook his head sadly before glancing up at Ste, "Then again, you can't help who you have feelings for, can you?"

Ste shook his head, "No, you can't" he murmured thoughtfully, inwardly scolding himself for having these kinds of feelings for a guy that he despised not long ago. A guy who had been with his ex-boyfriend, ex-husband and his dad. If there was ever a sign saying 'Don't go there', that would be it.

xxx

Danny soon returned with the drinks, which – for the first time that evening – Ste was relieved about since it would mean that it would feel as though this excruciating 'date' would be over quicker, and he probably wouldn't mind his dad crashing it if he was hammered. Several minutes later Danny's mobile buzzed. He read the message and bit his lip.

"I'm really sorry guys, but I have to head off" Danny apologised, standing up, "Sam needs me to fix the sink. Though why she can't call a plumber, I have no idea!"

The boys laughed politely and Danny grabbed his coat off the chair.

"You'll be back later, right?" he checked with Ste

Ste glanced at John Paul before hesitantly replying, "Yeah"

"Ok, see you then" he turned to John Paul, "See you tomorrow"

John Paul nodded and gave a brief, awkward wave before Danny exited. There was a lingering pause, then Ste looked at John Paul and gestured to his empty glass.

"Another one?" he asked.

"Actually…" John Paul began regretfully, and Ste's heart sank: this night couldn't be over already, could it? "I've barely eaten anything all day, and it's probably not a good idea to drink so much on an empty stomach" he explained.

Ste nodded in understanding and disappointment.

"Maybe we could go and get some chips or something" John Paul suggested. Ste looked surprised

"'We'?" he queried.

John Paul nodded and stood up, pulling his coat on, "I know it was only supposed to be a birthday drink, but it didn't really count with Danny around" he paused, "Unless you want to head home, which is totally cool-"

Ste jumped up, "No, chips sound good" he babbled, almost tripping over his chair in his enthusiasm to join John Paul.

xxx

"So, how's this birthday matched up to previous years?" John Paul asked as he munched on a chip.

Ste reached over and grabbed a handful from the packet, "Well a lot's changed" he admitted, "It's a good change though. I mean, I didn't have a proper family on my last birthday" he rubbed his hands together gleefully, "So hopefully, I'm gonna be showered with presents from them!" he joked.

John Paul groaned, "I forgot to get you anything" he exclaimed, "I was gonna shove a tenner in a card or something, though that's a pathetic excuse for a gift"

"Well it's the thought that counts, innit?" Ste responded

John Paul pondered this, "Yeah, exactly. I **thought **about shoving a tenner in a card"

Ste laughed whilst John Paul bit into the last chip thoughtfully, "I'm sure I'll think of something to get you"

Ste swallowed, using John Paul's last comment as a green light and gaining the courage to stop and turn to him.

"I've already thought of something that you can give me" he stated as he leant in to kiss him. He knew that it was a cheesy line that he'd never normally use, but John Paul had offered him a segue, so he was going to take it.

If John Paul freaked out at the kiss, Ste could always blame his actions on the alcohol, especially since he had started drinking before John Paul had even arrived. He was pleasantly surprised, however, when John Paul kissed him back. They were rudely interrupted by the sound of vomiting coming from nearby. They broke apart to find Finn and Robbie making sick noises a few meters away.

"Ah, you've stopped playing tonsil tennis then, have you?" Robbie shouted as he stopped, "About time"

"Disgusting" Fnn added, screwing his face up.

Ste took a step closer to them, "Do you want to repeat that?" he yelled, getting up in Finn's face.

"You're the ones that're disgusting" John Paul added, approaching them. Finn raised a fist and aimed it at Ste, but John Paul grabbed it before he threw a punch. Finn's sleeve slipped up his arm to reveal bruises on his knuckles.

"What happened to your hand?" he asked

"Nothing" Finn replied angrily, "just fighting and that"

John Paul put the pieces together in his head, "It was you, wasn't it? Last night"

Finn looked shocked and shook his head.

"Yeah, I saw you by lost property; you were putting a tie on, weren't you?" John Paul demanded

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Finn exclaimed

Ste and John Paul turned to Robbie.

"Well it wasn't me" he claimed, before glancing at Finn who looked helpless. Both Ste and John Paul realised and shared a look.

"Ring the police" Ste commanded shakily.

John Paul grabbed his mobile from his pocket and called the police.

xxx

"Well tonight was…interesting" Ste began as he and John Paul were walking away from the police station, "I've never had anyone arrested on my birthday before, but there's a first time for everything, I guess"

John Paul sighed, "I'm really sorry about that" he apologised

"Don't be" Ste assured him, "That little rat got what he deserved, which makes this birthday a success, even if the presents that I get tonight suck"

John Paul laughed quietly, which ended the awkwardness. There was a comfortable silence as they made their way back towards the McQueen house.

"So, uh, I um..." John Paul stammered, "I had a good time tonight, despite everything that happened"

Ste scoffed, "Yeah, me too"

"I'll see you tomorrow?" he queried.

Ste smiled and nodded. John Paul returned the smile and there was a lingering pause where neither of them knew what to do next. Were they a couple now? Should they kiss goodnight or had that earlier kiss been a one off? John Paul's smile faded slightly as he realised that neither of them were going to make a move or anything, then he began to make his way towards his house. Ste watched him regretfully and was about reach out to grab his arm to stop him when John Paul turned around to face him,

"Actually, I reckon that Finn being arrested isn't the only reason why tonight was a success" he told him as he stepped in closer to him. Ste chuckled and nodded before closing the distance between them to kiss him gently.

"Happy Birthday" John Paul whispered against his lips. Ste couldn't resist kissing him back deeply, holding John Paul's face in his hands and pulling him closer.

xxx

"Won't your family be annoyed that you've been out so long?" John Paul asked as he pulled away from Ste's kiss.

"Don't know, don't care" Ste responded simply, before capturing his lips again for what felt like the 100th time – they had lost count of the number of times that they had kissed after a while. They were huddled on John Paul's bed and had been alternating between talking about everything under the sun and making out. It felt strange for both of them because of the fact that a few weeks earlier they couldn't stand each other, but now they were being romantic and intimate as though it was second nature. After ending the kiss, John Paul shuffled away slightly to make it less tempting to kiss him again, then studied Ste intently for a few moments.

"So what does this mean then? For us, that is" John Paul asked.

Ste shrugged, "What do you want it to mean?"

John Paul sighed and looked down, "Honestly? I never thought I would say this, but…" he glanced up at Ste nervously, "I want us to be together"

Ste smiled slightly at his admission, "If that's your attempt at being subtle, you need more practice" he joked

"Ha, ha" John Paul replied sarcastically and slapped his arm lightly, "I think we're past beating around the bush, don't you?"

Ste nodded in agreement, then John Paul sighed, "I know it's been a difficult few months, what with losing Doug-"

"Well it was difficult for you as well" Ste interrupted, "You guys were close"

John Paul shook his head, "Yeah, but we were never married, and we weren't about to leave to travel the world together" he paused, "I just don't want to push you, you shouldn't rush into another relationship so soon after your husband's died. You need time to grieve and heal"

Ste considered this before guiltily confessing, "You know, I kind of already have. When I got that letter about Doug leaving his half of the Deli to me, it felt like a kind of closure. I feel like I can actually move on now" he paused, "I mean, it still hurts, and it probably always will, but if I was still mourning then I would have run off and felt guilty when we first kissed. Instead I kept thinking about it, and I wanted more"

John Paul smiled, "You know, I reckon that if an 'up there' does exist" he began, pointing upwards, "Doug would be looking down on us and laughing at the sheer irony of this situation"

They both laughed, remembering Doug being caught in the middle of their conflict about a year earlier. This was followed by a pause before John Paul suddenly noted, "You still haven't answered my question though, what is this?" he gestured between them.

"Well we both want something, a relationship" Ste suggested, then looked downcast "But we've both just been in relationships that have ended badly-"

"-So we should just take it slow" John Paul finished.

Ste nodded in agreement and there was a lingering pause, which gradually became more awkward as the boys were unsure of what to do next.

John Paul was beginning to consider calling it a night, then Ste eventually cleared his throat, "You know, just because we agreed to take it slow, doesn't mean that we can't go back to doing what we were doing a few minutes ago"

John Paul laughed before leaning in and kissing him again.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading! So that's how I imagined that the 9<em>_th__ of January (and McHay's relationship) would have turned out had JP not been raped by Finn. Finn would have been arrested for attacking Marlena (and yes, I did use the dialogue from the 9__th__ January episode in the bit with Finn and Robbie) and the boys would have gotten together with less bumps in the road. Obviously this is 'Hollyoaks' so I had to add a few bumps along the way nonetheless… If anyone has any suggestions for a 'what if' one-shot (preferably Ste, JP or McHay related), then please let me know and I will see what I can do. In the meantime, reviews are always welcome!_


	2. Chapter 2: The trial

**The trial**

_What if, at John Paul's trial last March, Robbie had been present (as he should have been), and had been there when 'his statement' was read out? Would the truth have been revealed earlier?_

* * *

><p>Robbie couldn't believe what he was hearing: this was supposed to be his statement asserting that John Paul shouldn't go to prison and that he was provoked into attacking him; instead it was claiming that John Paul had been grooming him and that he had lashed out when Robbie refused his advances. What the judge was reading was not the same thing that he handed in to Sam earlier that day. Which could only mean one thing: that Finn got hold of it and swapped it with one that was sure to get the man sent down.<p>

"No!" Robbie exclaimed, shooting up out of his seat and interrupting the judge. All eyes turned towards him.

"Excuse me?" the judge asked, annoyed at the disruption.

"That's not my statement" he cried.

"Yes it is" Sam argued, "You handed it in to me this morning"

Robbie shook his head, "That wasn't mine" he turned back to the judge, "I'm Robert Roscoe, and I didn't write that statement. The one I handed in to D.I Lomax pleaded mitigation" he paused and noticed John Paul's shocked expression, "Finn O'Connor and I bullied John Paul McQueen for months, and after Finn's accident I taunted him, not knowing that Finn-" he stopped abruptly as he saw John Paul shaking his head fervently.

"Not knowing that Finn what?" the judge prompted.

Robbie locked eyes with John Paul, who was gazing at him pleadingly.

"Tell them" Robbie instructed him firmly. John Paul avoided his gaze and shook his head again.

"Please, John Paul" Robbie insisted, "You can do this, you **have** to do this so that the real criminal can be punished, not you"

Everyone in the courtroom exchanged puzzled glances. Sam began to put the pieces together in her head: John Paul revealing that he had been raped, lashing out at Robbie, and now this new development about Finn being a 'criminal' – it all made sense. There was a long pause whilst Robbie looked John Paul in the eyes and silently encouraged him to speak up. Eventually John Paul took a deep breath.

"Finn raped me" he exhaled, before looking down.

You could hear a pin drop in the courtroom after his admission. John Paul's family all looked shocked and appalled; Marlena was shaking her head in denial, whilst Sandy hung her head and Nancy was on the verge of tears. The judge exchanged a glance with the members of the jury and they all nodded.

"Sentencing postponed for further investigation" he announced.

John Paul looked up and sighed with relief – it felt like a massive weight had been lifted from him. He and Robbie smiled slightly at each other in silent triumph.

xxx

Ste sighed at Danny's judgemental expression as he plodded down the stairs.

"What?" he asked irritably, sounding clogged up.

Danny shook his head, "I don't approve of this, you know. The drug-taking"

Ste shrugged, "Neither does the law, and that's the one I'm more concerned about" he retorted.

Danny's face turned from annoyed to concerned in an instant.

"You didn't force John Paul to do it, did you?"

Ste snorted, "As if!" he replied, "John Paul wanted to do it to take his mind off the trial"

Danny nodded reluctantly; he hated to admit that he understood his former lover's state of mind. Although he was totally opposed to drug-taking, he couldn't really blame John Paul for feeling the urge to do it.

"Do you know how court went?" Ste asked quietly.

Danny shook his head and, as if on cue, Sam entered.

"Hey" Ste greeted anxiously, "what happened?"

Sam smiled slightly, "it's been postponed, but I don't think John Paul has to worry too much"

"Why was it postponed?" Danny asked.

Sam looked between Ste and Danny, "Well you're probably gonna find out sooner or later, so I might as well tell you" she took a deep breath, "John Paul was provoked-"

"Yeah, I know" Ste interjected, "Finn and Robbie were bullying him and he lashed out"

"It's not just that" Sam informed him, "I've known for a while now but I haven't been able to say anything because of confidentiality, but a couple of months ago Finn raped him"

Both of the men just stared at her in astonishment.

"Finn?" Danny repeated as though he had misheard

Sam nodded and sighed, "I know it's a tricky situation. I mean, you taught the kid, and I know you and John Paul are close"

In spite of the grave situation, Ste pulled a face: 'close' was one word for it.

"I noticed his behaviour's been off for a while but I wasn't sure why" Danny noted

Sam nodded, "Yeah, it happened back on the 9th of January"

Both men remembered that night in some detail: it was Ste's birthday and Danny recalled swapping detention duty with John Paul, whilst Ste remembered John Paul cancelling their date because 'something had happened', then shutting the door in his face when he went to visit him. It all made sense now. Danny felt immensely guilty, and recalled John Paul freaking out about the fact that he was supposed to be taking detention that evening. 'It should have been you' were his words. If Danny had been there instead, none of this would have happened.

xxx

"Why didn't you tell us?" Mercedes demanded the moment she shut the door.

John Paul sighed, "I wanted to, but I was ashamed"

"Ashamed of what? It's that little rat Finn that should be ashamed"

"Because he was one of my students" he argued, then looked uncomfortable, "and I felt like I deserved it. I mean, he said it was my fault"

"You're kidding, right?" Carmel asked, "There is no way that it was your fault"

"Yeah, I get that now. But whenever I see him I get scared, and he knows it - he feeds off it"

Carmel approached him and held her arms out, "Come here" she encouraged gently. John Paul moved into her arms and she embraced him tightly, "Look, we're here for you, and we always will be"

"Yeah, we're McQueen's, it's all about family with us" Mercedes added, trying to lighten the mood.

At that moment there was a knock at the door and Mercedes sighed before opening it. Ste stood on the other side, fidgeting nervously.

"Is John Paul in?" he asked, peering over her shoulder.

Mercedes rolled her eyes and turned to John Paul, "your boyfriend's here"

Both men blushed slightly and John Paul nudged Mercedes before taking her place in front of Ste.

"Hey" he greeted casually, clearly not realising that the young man knew about his ordeal.

"Hey" Ste responded quietly

"What's up?" he asked, studying Ste's face

"I know what happened, why your sentencing was postponed; what Finn did to you" Ste admitted.

John Paul's face turned from pink to white and he gulped nervously, not knowing how Ste was going to react. Ste tentatively moved towards him and hugged him.

"I am so sorry" he whispered into his neck. John Paul tightened his grip slightly.

"Why didn't you say anything sooner? I came round here the night it happened, you could have told me then"

John Paul pulled away, "I hadn't even got my head around it that night" he argued quietly, letting his hands fall from Ste's body, "I wanted to let you in, but I was still in shock and wasn't ready for what you were going to say"

Ste nodded, "I freaked you out with the whole 'more than just friends' thing, didn't I?" he realised.

John Paul smiled slightly, "If it had been any other day, then I would have loved to have heard that. But I couldn't deal with a relationship back then, and I still don't think I can now"

Ste swallowed his disappointment and smiled reassuringly, "Yeah, I don't blame you after everything that's happened"

John Paul looked regretful, "I'm not saying 'never' to us-"

"Just not now" Ste finished, nodding in understanding. He glanced at the rest of the family, who were unsuccessfully trying to hide the fact that they were eavesdropping on their conversation.

"Look, I should leave you to be with your family" Ste eventually began, "But anything you need, just let me know"

"Thanks" John Paul replied, smiling gratefully. He moved forward to kiss his cheek and couldn't help but snigger at Ste's surprised and bashful reaction. Ste blushed before giving a brief wave and walking away. John Paul watched after him before closing the door softly.

"You alright, bro?" Mercedes asked, noticing John Paul's pensive expression.

He nodded, "Yeah. I just can't believe what's happened"

"Which bit?" Marlena asked.

"Everything" John Paul responded, "Robbie making me speak up, finally admitting what Finn did, and not going to prison"

"And soon that little perv will get what he deserves, then this will all be over" Mercedes added smugly.

John Paul shook his head, "It'll never be over, not really". He sighed, then smiled slightly and wrapped his arms around Carmel and Mercedes' shoulders, "At least now I have you guys' support and can try to move on"

"And you and Ste…?" Marlena prompted encouragingly.

John Paul smiled thoughtfully, "One day. One day it'll happen"

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading! I'm pretty happy with how it turned out, though I wasn't sure about it at first – I always wanted to know how Danny would have reacted to the situation if he had been around, and I was definitely inspired by JP's line 'it should have been you'. I know that there were many times during the male rape plot where a reveal would have been ideal, but I don't want this story to just become one-shots about that; I don't mind writing a few versions, but I do want to write different one-shots too. Anyway, if anyone has any suggestions of 'what if' scenarios, let me know. In the meantime, reviews are always welcome!<em>


	3. Chapter 3: The break-up

**The break-up**

_Requested by Molly, what if John Paul had broken up with Ste instead of telling him about his ordeal? And what if Ste had dated someone else, causing John Paul to feel jealous and regretful?_

* * *

><p>John Paul was appalled by Ste's insensitive request for taking their relationship to the next level. If you could even call what they had a 'relationship': less than twenty-four hours after revealing their feelings for each other they had already had several disagreements, and John Paul was physically and mentally exhausted by the whole thing. Ste, however, was puzzled by John Paul's seemingly over-the-top reaction, not realising that his joke 'I'll show you who the real man is' had deeper implications for him. There was a long pause as neither of the men said a word. Ste stared in confusion at John Paul, who was avoiding his gaze.<p>

"What's wrong?" Ste eventually asked.

John Paul shook his head, "nothing" he responded unconvincingly.

"It's not 'nothing'" Ste pointed out, "Why did you freak out?"

"Because…" John Paul began, desperately trying to come up with an excuse that didn't involve the truth, "I'm not interested"

John Paul realised that he had said the wrong thing as he noticed Ste's expression change from confused to grave, "You're not interested" he repeated, "in me?"

John Paul wanted to deny it, to reassure him that his feelings were still the same, but he couldn't bring himself to do it otherwise he would have to explain the real reason; something he definitely wasn't ready to do. Instead, he nodded slowly, confirming Ste's fears.

There was another long silence, "Well, thanks for clearing that up I guess" Ste eventually responded, bitterly.

"No, Ste, I didn't mean-"

"Don't bother trying to explain" Ste retorted irately, "I don't want to hear it"

Ste headed for the door furiously, but then spun round to face John Paul again, "So were you lying when you said that you loved me?"

John Paul shrugged, "I don't know" he admitted dejectedly, "I don't know how I feel or what I want"

Ste snorted, "Yeah, that's obvious. Just don't bother coming to me when you figure it out. I really don't care anymore"

Ste marched to the door of the boarding house and held it open. John Paul reluctantly crept towards the door, glancing at Ste's blank face before he exited. Ste slammed the door heavily and thumped it with his arm in anguish.

xxx

The following evening Ste decided to stop sulking in his room, thinking about John Paul. That's how he ended up at a club just outside of Hollyoaks, but still thinking about John Paul. Ste was utterly perplexed: after everything they had gone through just to be together, he thought that they could finally be happy, but John Paul had apparently been lying to him the entire time. Ste hated the fact that the young man still invaded his thoughts, especially has he claimed that he didn't care – he obviously did. He was brought out of his trance by a masculine, Irish voice.

"Hey, what can I get you?"

Ste glanced at the man and almost reeled in shock. This guy was the spitting image of his ex-boyfriend, Brendan Brady – subtract a few years and a couple of inches and it could be the same person: tall, dark and handsome with an unusual moustache. But Ste knew that it couldn't possibly be Brendan, he had been sent to prison nearly a year and a half ago, and wasn't due out any time soon. The man didn't miss Ste's shocked expression and asked, "Is everything ok?"

Ste swallowed and nodded, "Yeah. It's just been a long night, that's all"

"Tell me about it, I've been working all day" he studied Ste for a moment, "What's wrong?"

"Why do you think something's wrong?"

"You had that look on your face, what happened?"

Ste sighed, "It's complicated"

"A bad break-up then?" he enquired.

Ste looked surprised, so the guy explained, "I've worked in the business long enough to know that 'it's complicated' is usually code for 'break-up'"

Ste nodded grudgingly and the barman smiled gently, "Want to talk about it?"

"I thought you were a barman, not a counsellor"

"Pretty much the same thing really" he joked

"Why are you so interested?"

"Because I have no life" he shrugged, "Plus, I don't like to see my punters unhappy. And also because I like gossip"

Ste sniggered before responding helplessly, "I wouldn't even know where to start"

The barman gestured around him, "How about with a drink?" he suggested, winking at Ste and causing him to laugh.

xxx

When the barman returned from serving another customer, he stood in front of Ste and noticed that he was wearing the same expression as he had been earlier.

"Ok, tell uncle Sam what happened"

Ste looked confused, "'Uncle Sam'?"

The barman shrugged, "I thought it had a nice ring to it" he extended his hand, "I'm Sammy, by the way"

Ste shook his hand, "I'm Ste"

"So, what happened with this bure?"

Through his interactions with Cheryl and Brendan, Ste understood some Irish terms and knew that 'bure' meant 'woman', but realised that Sammy had made a mistake in his assumption.

"It's a bloke actually" he corrected, "He kept giving me mixed signals. You know, in the space of one day telling me that he loved me, then turning around and telling me that he's not interested"

"Oh, that must suck" Sammy replied sympathetically, then shrugged, "But aren't relationships all about mixed signals? I mean, I feel sorry for straight couples. Apparently men and women, like, speak different languages, so imagine how many mixed signals they must give each other"

Ste sniggered, "Yeah, good point. Though it's still managed to happen to me"

Sammy nodded sombrely and pointed to Ste's empty glass.

"Another one?"

Ste glanced at his watch reluctantly and noticed how late it was, "Actually, I should probably head off"

"Will I see you again?"

Ste shrugged and grinned cheekily, "If you play your cards right"

Sammy chuckled, "I meant that I haven't seen you around here before, and I wouldn't forget a face like yours. I'm guessing you don't live around here"

"Well I live in Hollyoaks"

"Oh yeah, that's quite close. Any good bars around there?"

"A couple, yeah" Ste responded, "Maybe we could get some drinks there sometime, if you're up for it"

Sammy nodded, "Sounds good" he responded, before grabbing a pen and jotting his number down on a napkin.

"Just give me a call or text and we can figure it out" he suggested, handing the napkin to Ste.

Ste took the napkin and read the number, "Ok, I'll be in touch"

Sammy smirked, "looking forward to it"

Ste gave a quick smile and wave before hopping off his stool and departing. He couldn't help but feel excited about the prospect of going on a date with a guy who was smart, funny, sensitive and attractive (even if he did bear a slightly disturbing resemblance to his ex-boyfriend). He wasn't doing it to make John Paul jealous, Ste tried to convince himself as he slipped the napkin into his pocket.

xxx

John Paul exhaled heavily as he pushed his third bottle away from himself. He turned around and began to leave when he spotted a familiar figure sitting at the other end of the bar. John Paul could have sworn that his heart stopped momentarily as he recognised the man. He looked exactly like Brendan Brady; but it couldn't be, could it? He was locked up in prison for the foreseeable future so it couldn't possibly be him. John Paul gradually approached the moustached man who suddenly glanced at him, sensing that someone was staring at him.

"Uh, hi" Sammy greeted uncertainly.

John Paul jumped slightly, having been caught out "Sorry" he apologised sheepishly

"No, it's ok" Sammy reassured him, "it's just that you're the second person who's looked at me like that this week"

"Yeah, you just look familiar"

"Oh, right" Sammy responded proudly, then his face dropped, "Wait, is that a good or bad thing? Because I've always had slight reservations about the 'tache, people sometimes tell me that I look like a 70s porn star"

Before John Paul could explain, Ste raced up the stairs towards Sammy.

"Sorry I'm late!" he exclaimed breathlessly. He noticed John Paul staring at him, completely bewildered. Sammy glanced between them, noticing that they were wearing the same shocked facial expressions.

"Ok, what's with that look?" he asked, "Is that just the typical look that people have around here?"

John Paul ignored Sammy and rolled his eyes at Ste, "Of course it'd be you"

"What do you mean?" Ste asked indignantly

"On a date with 'I-can't-believe-it's-not-Brendan'!" John Paul exclaimed, pointing at Sammy, who looked puzzled.

"Who?"

Ste shifted uncomfortably, "Brendan's my ex, you look a lot like him"

"That's why you're on a date with him then, is it? Did you scour the whole of Chester trying to find Brendan's doppelganger or something?" John Paul ranted. He knew he sounded unreasonable, but he was drunk and upset about the break-up. It also didn't help matters that Ste had moved on quickly with a guy who looked exactly like his abusive ex-boyfriend. You could hardly blame John Paul for being angry and jealous.

"Of course not!" Ste argued, "He was just working at a club-"

"Oh great" John Paul interrupted, "Just when I thought he couldn't be any more like Brendan, he has to work at a club as well!"

Sammy quickly grew annoyed with the men bickering and stood up, stepping between them and holding his arms out to stop them.

"Guys, just shut up!" he snapped.

Immediately Ste and John Paul's faces dropped and they both looked to the ground in shame.

Sammy cleared his throat, "Well, this has been…" he started, glancing between the men, "…yeah" he finished awkwardly.

Ste gazed at him pleadingly and Sammy lowered his voice.

"He's the 'it's complicated' guy, isn't he?"

Ste nodded. Sammy looked round at John Paul - who was watching them suspiciously - before turning back to Ste, "Simplify it"

"How?"

"Talk things through, that's all you can do"

"But what about our date?"

"To be honest Ste" Sammy began, and Ste was slightly surprised to not hear 'Steven' instead, "I was just looking forward to having a drink that wasn't prepared by me. Besides, I knew nothing would happen between us the moment you said 'it's complicated'"

Ste looked disappointed and Sammy smiled at him sympathetically, "Adh mor ort " he murmured and Ste smiled gratefully at Sammy's offer of 'good luck'. Sammy gave a quick wave before scurrying down the stairs of The Loft and there was a lingering pause as Ste glared at John Paul, who seemed to have sobered up. John Paul glanced at him nervously before quietly excusing himself. Ste sat down at the bar, reflecting on the chaos that had just transpired.

xxx

John Paul held back a smile as he opened the door to Ste, who looked annoyed.

"Hey" John Paul greeted cautiously, "Sorry about ruining your date with Brendan's twin"

Ste wasn't in the mood for jokes, especially not after what John Paul had done.

"Why did you do that, ruining my date with Sammy?"

John Paul shrugged heavily, "I was just drunk and upset. I didn't mean to kick off, and I really am sorry" he apologised sincerely

"And you think I **wasn't** upset?" Ste argued

"Well you moved on pretty quickly!" he retorted, "Or should I say, moved backwards?"

"What choice did I have? You didn't want me and **he **did"

"It's not that I didn't want you" John Paul tried to explain.

"Then what? What is going on in your head?" Ste asked earnestly, "You're giving me mixed signals all the time, so just tell me what you want because I can't second-guess you"

"You" John Paul replied shortly, still staring at his shoes

"What?"

John Paul gazed up at him, "Ste, I haven't stopped thinking about you since I stupidly destroyed what we had. Heck, I don't think I've stopped thinking about you since our first kiss"

Ste stared at him in astonishment, "Then why did you push me away?"

John Paul turned away from him and shook his head.

"John Paul, you can tell me"

Slowly, John Paul turned to face him, "I can't get close to anyone, not even you"

"Why not?"

John Paul took a deep breath, "I was attacked, one night after work"

"Attacked in what way? Like a gay-bashing or something?"

John Paul shook his head and fixed his eyes on a spot just behind Ste's head so that he wouldn't have to look him in the eyes, "Sexually" he breathed

Ste's expression changed from puzzled to horrified in an instant. He took a couple of steps backwards in shock.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"I wish I wasn't" John Paul whispered

"You were…" Ste could hardly bring himself to complete the question, "raped?"

John Paul nodded and Ste groaned before putting his head in his hands.

"And I tried it on with you when you've been through all of that" he realised

"You didn't know"

"Well why didn't you tell me instead of making me think that you changed your mind about us?" he asked softly, trying to refrain from getting angry or exasperated considering John Paul's revelation.

John Paul took a few steps towards him, "Because I thought that anything would be better than admitting the truth" he replied, "But now I know that nothing is worth losing you over"

Ste sighed heavily before wrapping his arms around John Paul and hugging him tightly.

"I love you so much" Ste whispered into his shoulder.

John Paul pulled back slightly and stroked his cheek, "I love you too" he responded before kissing him tenderly.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading! And thanks to Molly for the prompt: this was so much fun to write, and I just hope that this is somewhat close to what you were expecting. I had trouble thinking of who Ste's 'love interest' would be, but then I remembered that the show was going to introduce Sammy (the Brendan look-a-like) for an episode back in August but never did, so I couldn't resist using it here! I also used some dialogue from the 15<em>_th__ July episode, just so it would have a smoother link. Anyway, if anyone has any ideas for a one-shot (for either stories), just let me know. In the meantime, reviews are always welcome!_


	4. Chapter 4: McSavage

**McSavage**

_Prompted by Llanea, what if Dirk had found JP when he was locking up the school on the 9__th__ January?_

* * *

><p>Dirk locked the door of the hall and sighed deeply. In all honesty, he didn't really like his job as the caretaker; sure, it paid pretty well and he enjoyed interacting with the kids. Except for that Robbie Roscoe, of course – he was a pain in the backside: telling Dirk that someone was trying to break into one of the I.T rooms when nothing of the sort had happened. It was just a stupid and immature joke by an equally stupid and immature boy, and Dirk wasn't even going to try to work out why Robbie decided to trick him. Dirk was a family man, he wanted to be with his family instead of unlocking and locking up classrooms every day, but he also needed the money, and beggars can't be choosers, can they?<p>

John Paul grunted softly into the cold, hard floor. He could still hear the echoes of trousers unzipping and the rough panting in his ear as well as his own weak whimpering of fright. His body felt numb and he had no idea how long he had been lying on the floor for since Finn had escaped. Slowly, John Paul wiggled his fingers and began to regain some sensation in his body, including the searing pain in the back of his head. John Paul whined quietly at the pain, but barely had the strength to do anything else.

Dirk's head whipped around to where he detected the soft whine. He realised that one of the doors was slightly ajar and wandered curiously towards it.

"Hello?" Dirk began uncertainly as he entered, "John P- Oh My God!" he exclaimed, noticing John Paul splayed out on the floor in the dark room, trousers and underwear hanging below his hips. Dirk was utterly confused by the sight before him, but it didn't take him long to realise what had happened to the teacher, however difficult it was to comprehend. He bent down and gently shook John Paul's arm.

"John Paul, it's Dirk" he whispered, "Are you ok?"

John Paul managed to shake his head slowly and Dirk could hardly blame him for not being alright considering his state.

"I'm gonna help you up, is that ok?" he asked softly.

John Paul nodded feebly against the floor and Dirk grasped each of John Paul's arms gently just above the elbows, then slowly helped him up. John Paul's white hands clenched the desk for support as he rose and his whole body trembled. Although Dirk himself was shaken by the situation and could only imagine how John Paul was feeling, he cleared his throat awkwardly to inform the pale man about his condition.

"Uh, John Paul, your trousers are kind of…"

John Paul glanced down and looked horrified. With shaky hands, he quickly pulled his trousers and underwear up together, then fumbled with the zip. The noise that it made reminded him of Finn unzipping his own trousers and John Paul flinched at the memory before hastily tucking his shirt in.

"I- I was hoping that it was just a bad dream" he mumbled to himself

Dirk rubbed his arm soothingly and was at a loss for words, "I'm so sorry mate" he apologised quietly, "maybe I should call an ambulance for you or something"

John Paul swallowed and shook his head fervently, "I'm fine" he muttered flatly

Dirk glanced at him disbelievingly and there was a silence as John Paul tried to steady his breathing.

"Look, you should go to the police" Dirk suggested delicately, "Someone… attacked you, you need to report it"

John Paul shook his head then closed his eyes tightly. Dirk realised that he was retching and reconsidered forcing the man to go to the police immediately. Besides, John Paul was clearly in no fit state to go out: he could barely stand or speak. Instead Dirk came up with an idea and moved so that he could look John Paul in the eyes.

"Hey, why don't we go to the staff room, yeah?" he proposed kindly, just wanting to get himself and John Paul out of the classroom. John Paul nodded quickly in agreement and let Dirk wrap an arm around his shoulder carefully before he was lead out.

xxx

Dirk placed a cup of tea on the coffee table in front of John Paul, then sat down opposite him. After a few moments of watching the man barely move, Dirk tried to do something to take John Paul's mind off of what had happened to him.

"I don't think I've ever been this room before" he commented casually, "I always imagined that the staff have raves in here or something. I mean, I know **I** would"

He noticed the corner of John Paul's mouth twitch and was inwardly triumphant that he had helped in some way. Trying to continue the slow progress, Dirk attempted to get John Paul to speak by asking him how Matthew was.

"He's fine" was John Paul's brief response, and Dirk was slightly disappointed so he tried again.

"Not causing chaos like the rest of you McQueen's?" he joked.

Again, John Paul smiled slightly, "No, he's the only normal one in that house"

Dirk chuckled, "Now **that** I can believe"

John Paul sniggered, then suddenly looked panicked, "Matthew!" he exclaimed, "I should be at home, I need to go"

John Paul began to stand up, but his body was weak and quivering, and he almost lost his balance. Dirk raced over to his side and held him steady.

"Don't worry about Matthew, I'm sure your family will be spoiling him rotten" he reassured the teacher. John Paul nodded reluctantly, still shaking.

Dirk gradually helped John Paul back into his seat before rubbing his shoulder, "Look, I really don't think you should go anywhere yet" he told him, "Don't worry though, I'll stay with you until you're ready"

"You don't have to stay" he whispered

Dirk shrugged, "Well I have nothing better to do tonight" he lied. John Paul smiled slightly in gratitude and Dirk returned the smile before glancing around.

"So, first and foremost, where are the biccies kept?"

John Paul nodded to the cupboard above the kettle, "The chocolate chip ones are on the top shelf and the custard creams are on the bottom"

Dirk was secretly pleased that John Paul was focused on something as trivial as biscuits, rather than on the ordeal that he had just faced. Dirk retrieved the biscuits from the cupboard and offered them to John Paul, who politely declined. Dirk was concerned – though not surprised – by his refusal to eat anything; he couldn't understand how John Paul must be feeling, but figured that food was probably the last thing on his mind. Dirk glanced at him sympathetically before taking a couple of biscuits and placing the packets down in the middle of the table, so that they were there if John Paul changed his mind.

xxx

After a lengthy silence, John Paul's mobile began to ring, causing him to jump. It took the man a moment to realise what the sound was, then he rummaged around in his shoulder bag for it. Noticing that the caller was Ste, John Paul hesitantly answered it.

"Are you riding in on the back of a snail or what?" was the first thing that John Paul heard as he put his ear to the phone.

John Paul wasn't sure how to respond and hesitated, "I... I can't" he choked out

There was a pause on Ste's end of the line, "What do you mean you 'can't'? Are you not coming?"

"I'm sorry Ste" he murmured regretfully

"I can't believe this" Ste began, sounding annoyed, "What, was this some kind of sick joke or something?"

John Paul shook his head in disappointment and annoyance, then hung up without responding. He was still traumatised by his ordeal and was way too shattered to even try to come up with a reason for not making it to the date. Dirk raised an eyebrow.

"Wow, you and Ste" he noted, "I didn't even know you guys liked each other"

John Paul shrugged, "Nana tried to set us up" he mumbled

"Oh yeah, how is Marlena since the attack?" Dirk asked, remembering what had happened to her the night before and hoping to distract John Paul again. He noticed John Paul's face become grave and even paler (which he didn't think was possible), and figured out that his attack must have been related to Marlena's in some way to evoke that response from him. Suddenly John Paul shot up out of his seat.

"I should really go" he announced uncomfortably

Dirk stood up and put a hand on John Paul's shoulder, "I'll go with you"

John Paul shook his head and moved out of his grasp, "You don't have to"

"I insist. Just give me a minute to lock up"

John Paul was too tired to argue so he nodded before grabbing his shoulder bag and hurrying out of the room. Dirk watched after him before reluctantly making his way towards the classroom where the disgusting attack had taken place. If even he didn't want to go near that room again, he could only imagine how John Paul would be feeling about the prospect of returning there the following day. Dirk seriously hoped that John Paul would take some time off to recover from his ordeal, and wouldn't go back to work before he was actually ready.

xxx

Dirk watched John Paul from the front door thoughtfully. The young man's clothes were crumpled and he was hunched over slightly. His face was grey and gaunt, and he was still shaking. Dirk was slightly concerned that John Paul would collapse at any moment, so he hurried over to his side and laid a gentle hand on his upper arm.

"Are you ok?"

Immediately John Paul nodded, then paused and shook his head.

"I don't know what to do" he whispered helplessly

"Well what you **should** do is go to the police" Dirk pointed out, "But the most important thing is what **you** want to do. What do you want to do?"

"Honestly?" John Paul asked, then turned his head to look at Dirk properly for the first time that evening, "I want to go home and pretend that this never happened"

Dirk nodded in understanding, "But you know that reporting this is the right thing to do, don't you?"

John Paul looked away and nodded.

Dirk sighed, "I'll tell you what, we'll go to the police station. They'll look after you there and you can tell them what happened. Then you can go home and get some sleep" he smiled reassuringly, "Usually things are better in the morning" he finished, though he was not entirely convinced by his own words.

John Paul smiled slightly and nodded in agreement.

"Ok" he breathed.

Dirk smiled with relief and carefully led him away from the school.

There was a silence filled with anticipation and tension while Dirk walked with John Paul to the police station. He wasn't sure what to expect once they had arrived but he wanted John Paul to get justice and to speak up about his attack. Dirk understood that a huge number of sexual assaults were never reported – whether it was out of shame, fright or because they may not be believed – whatever the reason, he hoped more than anything that this one wouldn't be on the list as well. Dirk wasn't sure if he'd be able to cope knowing about John Paul's ordeal, seeing him every day keeping it bottled up and never reporting it. He didn't think that he had ever been so desperate for anything before in his life, especially as he barely even knew John Paul, but he seriously needed the man to speak up about this.

Dirk was so engrossed in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed that John Paul had stopped walking and was frozen on the spot, staring at something. Dirk turned around and was about to call out to him to check if he was ok when he noticed John Paul's ghostly face and fixed gaze. Following his line of sight, Dirk noticed Finn and Robbie standing several metres away, looking curious. The pieces fit together in Dirk's head: John Paul's expression and Robbie leading Dirk away from the door to check on something that hadn't happened; he must have been stalling him whilst the attack was taking place. The timing added up as well, which was just further confirmation. Dirk realised that the attacker must have been Finn – it all made perfect sense now, all of the clues suggested it. Dirk gradually approached John Paul and cautiously shook his arm.

"John Paul, it's ok" he reassured the teacher.

Finn tugged on Robbie's sleeve and led him away. John Paul finally tore his eyes away from the boys and looked down at his shoes.

"It was Finn, wasn't it?"

John Paul glanced up at him, looking shocked and shook his head

"I know it was, John Paul" Dirk insisted, "The way you were looking at him, it was obvious. Everything that happened tonight makes sense now"

Again, John Paul shook his head, but more unconvincingly.

"Please, John Paul" Dirk begged, "Just admit it was him"

There was a pause and Dirk could see the inner conflict through John Paul's eyes. Eventually John Paul glanced down again and nodded.

Dirk let out a breath and pointed to the police station down the street, "Ok. Now you just have to go in there and say that"

John Paul took a step back and shook his head, "I can't"

"Yes, you can"

"No, I can't" he hissed resolutely

"Why not? You've already admitted it to me, that's the hardest part over"

John Paul looked appalled, "The 'hardest part'?" he repeated incredulously, "You think **that's** the hardest part? What about living with it? Living with the humiliation and the fear and the… emptiness"

"I'm sorry" Dirk apologised hastily, "I didn't mean it like that, but you need to do this to get him punished for what he did"

"You just don't get it, do you?" John Paul exclaimed, turning and rushing away from the police station. However, due to his fragility, he staggered several steps and Dirk raced over to him to prevent him from falling down.

"I want to go home" John Paul told him firmly

Dirk nodded, not wanting to argue with the man who was obviously struggling with the whole situation.

"Ok, just let me take you"

John Paul cleared his throat and stood up properly. With Dirk's support, he gradually made his way back to his home.

xxx

John Paul stood outside the house, eyes flickering over it thoughtfully.

"It's funny, isn't it?" John Paul began softly, "It all looks the same but everything's different"

Dirk nodded in understanding, "You don't have to do this" he assured him, "You can come and stay on the boat tonight if you'd prefer"

John Paul shook his head, "No, I want to be in my own home, my own bed"

Dirk nodded, "Ok, fair enough. But if you ever need anything or anyone to talk to, I'll always be here" he paused, "Well not literally, I'm obviously not gonna stand outside your house, but you get what I mean"

John Paul chuckled, "Yeah, I do"

Dirk hesitated for a moment, still unsure about what he should do.

"Well, I'll see you around then" he told him uncertainly

"Yeah"

As Dirk began to walk away, John Paul called out his name and Dirk turned around to face him.

"Thanks for everything mate" he uttered appreciatively.

"No problem" Dirk responded, and he watched John Paul slowly enter his house and softly close the door before he headed back to his own home.

xxx

After what felt like an eternity of tossing and turning, John Paul eventually gave up his attempts to fall asleep and instead sat up in his bed. Every time he closed his eyes it felt as though he was back in that classroom with Finn, and he couldn't erase that image from his head. John Paul slid onto the floor and reached under his bed. He had shoved his clothes into a plastic bag as soon as he had finished washing himself. His flesh was still red and raw with the vigour that he had put into cleaning his tainted body. In fact, he had used several different shower scrubbers and shower gels to remove any traces of his ordeal from his skin, but none of that made any difference; he himself still knew what had happened, and no amount of washing would make it go away. John Paul stared at the clothes in the bag and was seriously considering washing them as well, but a part of him wanted to keep them for evidence just in case he decided to report his attack to the police after all, which he was genuinely considering.

Dirk lay in his bed restlessly, his mind replaying the evening over and over again. He wondered how John Paul was now: whether he was asleep, whether he was scared or distressed. Although he urgently wanted John Paul to speak up about the attack, he wasn't going to force him to do it before he was ready. However, Dirk desperately hoped that John Paul would report everything to the police, so that Finn O'Connor would get what he deserved and John Paul could get justice for his ordeal.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading! And thanks Llanea for the prompt. This was so harrowing to write, and I know it's a bit dodgy in places, but I'm pretty proud of it to be honest. I really hope this is somewhat close to what you envisioned, and I hope that everyone else enjoyed it too! I really wanted to write a follow-up to this (and I might do in the future) but when I attempted to do it, it came across as really awkward and the continuity got all messed up, so I decided against it: sorry about that. If anyone has any ideas (for either stories), don't hesitate to let me know, and remember that reviews are always appreciated!<em>


	5. Chapter 5: McSavage (part 2)

**McSavage (part 2)**

_I did promise to write a follow-up to McSavage (and I'm so pleased that people enjoyed the first part – thanks for the support and fab reviews!), so this is it. This one continues on from the previous part and contains snippets of conversations that Dirk and JP have, but it is in canon with what happened on-screen and doesn't go AU._

* * *

><p><em><strong>13<strong>__**th**__** January (JP returning to school)**_

As Dirk finished unlocking the doors, he was surprised to see John Paul limp towards the school, still looking unhealthily pale and as though he hadn't slept or washed. However, he knew that John Paul would be determined to continue as normal so he shouldn't have been **that** surprised. Cautiously, Dirk approached the man who was clearly in a trance.

"Hey, John Paul" he greeted gently, "How are you?"

John Paul stopped suddenly, obviously not having noticed him until he had spoken. He forced a smile onto his face, "I'm fine" he whispered

Dirk shook his head, "No you're not. You shouldn't be here, you should have taken a day off or something"

John Paul shrugged, "Patrick doesn't really approve of us taking sickies"

Dirk was astounded, "You can hardly call **this** a sickie!" he hissed

John Paul shook his head, "It doesn't matter, I have classes to teach"

Dirk took a step closer to him, "Is Finn in any of your classes today?" he asked in a low voice

John Paul swallowed heavily and nodded

"John Paul, you can't do that!"

"I have to" he argued through gritted teeth, "I'm a teacher and it's my job"

Dirk sighed, realising that nothing he could say or do would change his mind, "Ok, but if things get too much for you-"

"Which they won't" John Paul murmured

"But if they do, just take some time out, ok?" Dirk instructed

John Paul rolled his eyes, "I'll be fine"

Dirk looked unconvinced, "Ok, but just remember that if you ever need anything, I'm here"

John Paul smiled faintly before hurrying towards the school. Dirk watched after him, shaking his head sadly. He couldn't believe that John Paul was returning to school the day after his attack and was going to have to face the person who sexually assaulted him. Dirk knew that John Paul was a strong person; the way he coped the night before certainly demonstrated that, and Dirk was positive that John Paul would be able to get through it, but he knew that the guy would need support, which was exactly what Dirk would offer him.

* * *

><p><em><strong>19<strong>__**th**__** February (following JP's counselling appointment and suggesting to Patrick that Robbie and Finn should be expelled)**_

"Are you serious?!" Dirk exclaimed in outrage as he handed John Paul a cup of tea before leaning against the work surface. John Paul nodded and clasped the drink in his hands, "But surely just the bullying would have been enough to get them both expelled"

"Apparently not" John Paul replied grimly.

Dirk was about to open his mouth to suggest that John Paul tell Patrick about his ordeal, but John Paul realised and shook his head, "No, I'm not telling Patrick what happened"

Dirk looked disheartened, then suggested "I could have a word with him if you want"

John Paul looked confused, "What difference would that make?"

Dirk considered this, "None really I guess, but I can't believe he'd let them stay at that school"

John Paul shrugged, "It's his choice. He thinks that they're redeemable"

"But do **you**? That's the main thing" Dirk pointed out.

"I'd like to think so" John Paul replied, "Patrick seems to have a lot of faith in me, so the least I can do is give it a go" then he murmured, "And prove that they haven't got the upper hand anymore"

Dirk understood that John Paul was referring mainly to Finn, "Is that what this is really about? You think that if you're still Finn's teacher then he won't have won?"

John Paul glanced away, "Is that so bad?"

Dirk shook his head grudgingly, "No, but you shouldn't have to go through that. In fact, you shouldn't be going through any of this at all"

John Paul smiled slightly, "You know, I'm actually starting to believe that now"

"What do you mean 'now'?" Dirk asked curiously.

John Paul gulped nervously before admitting, "Well Finn keeps saying that it's my fault and that I deserved it"

Dirk almost dropped his mug of tea in shock, "That's disgusting" he exclaimed, "You know that none of that's true, right?"

John Paul nodded, "Yeah, I do now. You, Sam and the counsellor made that clear"

"'Counsellor'?" Dirk repeated quizzically.

John Paul blushed slightly, "Yeah, Sam recommended that I talk to someone who specialises in this kind of thing"

"And how did it go?" Dirk asked, trying not to get too over-excited. He was relieved that John Paul was taking positive steps towards his recovery, but he didn't want to be too enthusiastic too soon.

John Paul shrugged, "It was ok actually" he admitted, "It was strange because I wasn't telling the guy about **what** happened as much as I was telling him how I **felt** about what happened"

"Well that's the most important part" Dirk pointed out, "You know, dealing with the emotional side of it so that you can actually start to move on"

John Paul smiled slightly and met his eyes, "Yeah, I guess I can"

There was a short silence before John Paul eventually spoke up, "Thanks again for everything, mate"

Dirk raised his mug slightly, "It's no problem. Any time you need anything, a chat, a cry or just a cup of tea; you know where I am"

John Paul nodded gratefully before sipping his drink. He was so glad that he had people that were on his side and seemed to genuinely care about him. He knew he had a long way to go towards recovery, but he was beginning to feel slightly better about everything that had happened as well as what the future had in store.

* * *

><p><em><strong>7<strong>__**th**__** April (a few days after Sam visits JP in prison and confronts him about his affair with Danny before accusing him of lying about his ordeal)**_

Dirk resisted the urge to shove people out of the way so that he could get to John Paul's table quickly. He swore that he saw John Paul's face light up upon noticing him, though he somehow looked worse than he did the night that he was attacked (and Dirk didn't think that was possible). His face was grey, his hair greasy and his whole frame was hunched over. Dirk delicately sat down opposite John Paul and smiled slightly.

"Thanks for coming" John Paul greeted gratefully, staring at the table

"I'm just glad you allowed me to visit" Dirk admitted

There was a pause, "How have you been?" Dirk asked, "I'm sorry that we haven't spoken for a while"

"It's ok, and I'm fine" John Paul assured him weakly

Dirk looked unconvinced but didn't push the matter. After all, how could anyone be 'fine' after being locked up in prison?

"Have you seen Sam recently?" John Paul asked, voice barely above a whisper

Dirk shook his head, "Not really, why?"

"It doesn't matter" John Paul replied dismissively.

Dirk leant closer, "It obviously does otherwise you wouldn't have asked me"

John Paul shifted uncomfortably, "You haven't heard anything about the Lomaxes then?"

Again, Dirk shook his head, "No, why? What do you think's happened?"

John Paul was conflicted about whether to admit the truth to Dirk or not. Dirk could sense John Paul's hesitation and reassured him, "You can tell me anything, you know"

John Paul nodded, "I know" he breathed, then glanced at Dirk, "Sam's turned her back on me"

Dirk looked appalled, "Why?"

John Paul swallowed, "She found out that I… uh" he began shakily

"You what?" Dirk prompted gently

"I was having an affair with Danny"

Dirk looked shocked, "Wait, you and Mr Lomax were together?"

John Paul nodded, looking ashamed.

"How long was this going on for?" he asked

John Paul avoided his gaze, "On and off since the summer" he murmured, "But a couple of days ago Sam came here and confronted me about it, and then she accused me of making up the whole ordeal"

Dirk was astounded, "So let's see if I've got this right: she finds out that you had an affair with her husband, and she thinks that's grounds to accuse you of lying about being raped?" he hissed

John Paul shrugged heavily in despair and Dirk shook his head, "Ok, I get that she'd be angry and shocked, but that's ridiculous"

"I don't know what to do" John Paul whispered, "She hates me"

"She doesn't hate you" Dirk reassured him, "Sure, she's upset and I don't blame her, but she'll realise she's overreacting soon enough"

"I wish I had your confidence" John Paul scoffed

"Everyone does" Dirk joked smugly, causing John Paul to laugh.

"Well I'm just glad that I've got you on my side" John Paul muttered sincerely.

Dirk smiled sadly, "I'm sorry that I didn't do more to help you. You probably wouldn't be here right now if I had"

John Paul shook his head, "Dirk, you've done more than enough to help me. Plus, I was the one who stopped you from standing up for me and speaking out about my ordeal so please don't apologise"

Dirk nodded, "Just remember that if you ever need anything-"

"-You'll be there" John Paul finished, "Yeah, I know. And I'm grateful, honestly"

Dirk and John Paul smiled warmly at each other in a comfortable silence. John Paul was genuinely thankful that he had Dirk's support. He had no idea when he would be released, but he knew that Dirk would be there when he returned to Hollyoaks and would always in be in his corner. Just that knowledge gave John Paul hope for the future in spite of what he had faced and what was yet to come.

* * *

><p><em><strong>29<strong>__**th**__** May (following Holly's accusation of being raped by Dodger)**_

Dirk entered Price Slice cautiously to find John Paul stacking shelves, deep in thought. Dirk watched John Paul carefully before clearing his throat.

"I was surprised when Cindy told me you were here"

John Paul glanced at him, startled, before swallowing, "Yeah, I just offered to help out, that's all"

Dirk nodded, "You encouraged her to speak to Holly about her ordeal while you took care of the shop; that was really nice of you"

John Paul shrugged, "I just reckon she needs support and someone to talk to" he told Dirk, then looked away sadly, "And who's better than your mum when you're going through something like that?"

Dirk caught on to John Paul's insinuation that he wished that Myra was still around, "So you want Holly to talk to someone about **her** ordeal, but you won't do the same yourself?"

John Paul shook his head and smiled slightly, "I'm fine" he reassured him quietly, "Besides, this has nothing to do with me. This is about Holly and Dodger"

John Paul stood away from the shelf and inspected it before heading over to the supplies that still needed to be organised. Dirk continued to watch him before tentatively asking, "Do you think Dodger did it?"

John Paul stopped in his tracks and stared straight ahead of himself. After pondering this for a few moments he eventually shrugged then continued to stack the shelf. Dirk took a step towards him, "Dodger's not that kind of person, is he? I mean, you know him, he's a good guy" he insisted earnestly.

John Paul looked down, "Well if I've learnt anything in the last few months, it's that people can surprise you. Even the ones that seem harmless can do bad things in the wrong circumstances"

Dirk nodded reluctantly, "But these are serious allegations that she's making. And Dodger's not like Finn"

John Paul turned to face him, "Yeah, and I would never have imagined that Finn would be capable of what he did, but obviously I was wrong" he snapped. After noticing Dirk's crestfallen expression John Paul sighed regretfully, "I don't want to believe it of Dodger either, but only Holly and Dodger know what really happened, so it's just a case of waiting to find out the truth"

Dirk nodded sombrely and a cockney voice broke in, "I could have guessed you were talking about me"

Dirk and John Paul hadn't noticed Dodger standing at the door, and wondered how much of the conversation he had overheard.

"Dodger-" Dirk began, taking a step towards him, but Dodger moved backwards, "No! Don't even try to explain" he shouted, "You don't believe me, do you?"

"It's not that I don't believe you-" Dirk began, but Dodger interrupted.

"Then why are you talking about me with the local teen-beater?" he cried, "It's not like you guys are best mates who have casual chats, is it?"

Dirk shook his head, "John Paul understands what's going on"

Dodger looked confused, "How? How the heck does he understand?"

"Because he's in Holly's position!" Dirk yelled.

John Paul groaned in frustration before hanging his head at Dirk revealing the truth. Dodger looked bewildered, "What do you mean?"

Dirk turned to John Paul, "Tell him" he instructed softly

John Paul glanced up at him and shook his head fervently, "No" he replied firmly

"Tell me what?" Dodger asked, then his face became grave, "Wait, when you said that he's in Holly's position…" Dodger's expression turned to shock as he realised what Dirk was insinuating, "You were raped?"

John Paul clenched his fists and his whole body trembled. He wasn't sure where to look or what to do so he barged past Dirk and Dodger, leaving the men speechless. Dodger glanced at Dirk, "Who did it? When?" he asked shakily.

Dirk shook his head, "I'm really sorry Dodge" he apologised, "I've already said too much. I need to find John Paul" he was about to exit when he laid a hand on Dodger's shoulder, "Please don't tell anyone about this" he begged.

Dodger shook his head in understanding, "I won't" he assured him.

Dirk smiled gently, "Thanks" he replied sincerely before squeezing his shoulder, "I do believe that you're innocent, mate, and I will fight to prove it"

Dodger smiled gratefully, "Go after him" he encouraged gently. Dirk nodded before hurrying out.

xxx

"John Paul, please let me in" Dirk begged against the door. John Paul stood on the other side, deliberating about whether or not to obey, "I'm sorry for telling Dodger about what happened, it just slipped out"

John Paul was confused, "How does my ordeal just 'slip out'?"

"I was upset and stressed about what he was going through. And you saw Dodger, he's in a right state"

"That's no excuse!" John Paul argued

"I know, and I'm so sorry"

"'Sorry' isn't good enough, Dirk" John Paul told him, "This is why I didn't want anyone to know about my ordeal, now more people are bound to find out"

"And why is that such a bad thing?" Dirk asked, "You've kept it to yourself for nearly six months now, speaking up means that it'll be out in the open and Finn can be arrested"

"It's not that easy" John Paul cried, "See what's going on with Holly and Dodger; no-one really knows the full story so we don't know who's telling the truth. It would be the same situation with me and Finn"

Dirk paused to consider this and John Paul sighed, "Look, I really am grateful for everything you've done for me. But this has just proven that I can't trust you"

Dirk opened his mouth in an attempt to argue against him but John Paul continued, "So I think it'd be for the best if I just go it alone from now on"

Dirk scoffed, "It's not like I can just forget what you've been through"

"Why not?" John Paul asked, "You've got Dodger and Holly to worry about, not forgetting Cindy or Hilton either. You've got enough on your plate without dealing with my stuff too"

There was a pause before John Paul took a deep breath, "I think you should go now"

Dirk heard John Paul walk away and he sighed heavily, rubbing his face in exasperation. He didn't want to leave John Paul to deal with everything alone but what other choice did he have if John Paul wanted nothing to do with him anymore? Perhaps John Paul was right; Dirk was in the midst of a family crisis, so perhaps it was better to focus purely on that, and let John Paul recover and figure things out himself.

* * *

><p><em><strong>27<strong>__**th **__**August (Darren's stag party)**_

Dirk watched Ste and John Paul from the other side of The Loft, smiling slightly at their sweet interactions. After everything that John Paul had been through, he deserved someone who cared about him so deeply. Dirk was slightly disappointed by the fact that he and John Paul had barely spoken for months, but he was glad that John Paul had turned to Ste for support instead.

Dirk was bemused by the cunning grin on John Paul's face and wondered what the men were talking about. After a few moments he saw Ste kiss John Paul deeply before racing down the stairs. John Paul watched after Ste with a love-struck expression and laughed at his boyfriend's eagerness. Dirk wandered over to him casually and leant against the banister next to him.

"Hey, having a good night?" he greeted

John Paul was slightly taken aback by Dirk's appearance and his face fell slightly in surprise, but his expression remained warm nonetheless. Dirk was inwardly delighted that John Paul hadn't completely rejected him and hoped that they could still be amicable at the very least.

"Yeah, it's been pretty cool, how about you?" John Paul asked, attempting to be nonchalant

Dirk suspected that John Paul was hiding something, but he was comforted by the fact that this time it wasn't something disastrous or traumatic.

"It's been fun, and wacky" Dirk replied, gesturing to the top hat and tails that he was wearing for the circus themed event, "Then again, this is Darren's party, so I'd be surprised if it **wasn't **fun and wacky"

John Paul chuckled in agreement and Dirk's curiosity got the better of him, "So I just saw Ste leave in a hurry, what was that about?"

Dirk noticed John Paul blush and bite his lip whilst glancing to the floor, which piqued his interest even more.

"What?"

"Doesn't matter" John Paul replied, shaking his head, "How are things with you?"

Dirk didn't want to let his question slide, but he was slightly more willing to leave it considering that John Paul was clearly excited about something but quite reluctant to discuss it; and at least it was something positive this time.

"They're fine" he replied, "How about you? We haven't really spoken in a while, and I've been worried about you"

John Paul shifted uncomfortably though his smile remained, "Yeah, things have been good, thanks"

"I'm glad" Dirk replied sincerely then cleared his throat before hesitantly asking, "Does Ste know about… you know?"

John Paul's face turned more serious and he nodded, "Yeah, I kind of had to tell him eventually. I didn't tell him who was responsible though"

"How did he take it?"

John Paul sniggered, "Well he didn't have the same reaction as you, that's for sure"

Dirk was confused so John Paul explained, "You were like a superhero that night; you took care of me and never left my side. Looking back, you were amazing"

Dirk smiled bashfully, "I just did what any normal person would do"

John Paul shook his head, "No you didn't. You went out of your way to look after me and to make sure that I wasn't alone" he suddenly looked down, seemingly ashamed, "I'm sorry I pushed you away"

Dirk shook his head, "Don't worry about it" he insisted, "I'm just glad you've found someone that you can confide in and that makes you happy"

John Paul smiled, "Yeah, he really does" murmured thoughtfully

Dirk grinned at John Paul's contentment and patted his arm, "Can I get you a beer or something?"

John Paul glanced down the stairs, "Actually I'm supposed to be meeting Ste"

Dirk scoffed, "I think you missed him mate, he left a few minutes ago"

John Paul laughed, "I'm supposed to be meeting him outside"

"Got something special planned?"

John Paul avoided his eyes and Dirk suddenly realised why John Paul seemed so excited a few minutes ago. John Paul politely excused himself before heading down the stairs. Dirk chuckled to himself as he picked up a beer: he was glad that John Paul had moved past his trauma, and really hoped that this would be another turning point for him, and if John Paul was happy, he was happy. Though honestly, Dirk wasn't comfortable with the idea of Finn walking around the village as if nothing had happened, but he had promised John Paul that he wouldn't tell the police anything and was going to stick to it for however long was necessary.

* * *

><p><em><strong>3<strong>__**rd**__** October (following Finn's sentencing)**_

Dirk was overjoyed when he learnt that Finn had been found guilty. After nearly nine months that felt like a lifetime of waiting, Dirk was ecstatic that justice had finally been served. He desperately wanted to give evidence for John Paul in court, but John Paul had dissuaded him because he felt as though Dirk would be reprimanded for knowing about his ordeal the entire time but not coming forward. Dirk tried to argue that it was complete nonsense and that John Paul needed all the support that he could possibly get, but John Paul convinced him to keep quiet and take care of his family instead, so that's exactly what he did. However, he was anxious to see John Paul as soon as he possibly could, so he headed over to his house as soon as he thought it was appropriate.

Myra opened the door to him, "Oh, hi Dirk" she greeted, sounding confused.

"Hi Myra" he responded, still struggling somewhat with the fact that she was actually alive, "I was just wondering if I could talk to John Paul"

Myra raised an eyebrow but didn't question it. Instead she called out to John Paul, who was being mollycoddled by the rest of his family. He noticed Dirk and rushed over to him.

"Hey" he greeted with a massive grin on his face, "It's great to see you"

"You too" Dirk agreed, revelling in John Paul's disposition, "I heard about Finn, I'm really happy for you"

"Thanks" he replied quietly

"How was court? I heard that it didn't go so well until Diane spoke up"

John Paul nodded, "Honestly, I was really scared that he'd get away with it but Diane admitted that she lied in her alibi, which pretty much sealed the deal"

"Took her long enough though" Dirk mumbled

"Yeah, it was excruciating" John Paul admitted, "But it all worked out in the end"

"And I'm glad" Dirk replied

John Paul smiled at him, "Me too" he murmured, then gestured inside, "Do you want to come in? My family have bought enough champagne to sink a ship and I'm not particularly thrilled about the prospect of sharing a house with a load of hung-over women tomorrow, so if you want to join us…"

"I'd love to, but I actually have to go" Dirk responded regretfully, "Holly's been doing it tough lately and I need to be with her"

"Yeah, of course" John Paul replied, "It's really great that you're supporting Holly, she's lucky to have you"

Dirk smiled sheepishly and John Paul continued, "I can only imagine how difficult it's been for you guys, so if you ever need to talk to someone-"

"Why does this sound familiar?" Dirk asked jokingly.

John Paul laughed, "It's the least I can do after everything you've done for me"

"I haven't done much" Dirk argued modestly

John Paul shook his head, "You have" he insisted gently, "You've done more than you realise, more you'll ever know; and I can never thank you enough for it"

Dirk blushed slightly, "It's no problem, honestly. I'm just happy that everything's alright now"

"Yeah, it is" John Paul replied thoughtfully.

After a pause, Dirk was pleasantly surprised when John Paul took a step towards him and wrapped his arms around him in an embrace. Dirk patted John Paul on the back before letting go.

"Thank you so much for everything" John Paul whispered, "I don't know how I would have got through this without you"

"You're welcome" Dirk choked out, worried that he would burst into tears. He cleared his throat, "I'll see you around then?"

John Paul nodded, "Yeah, see you"

Dirk gave John Paul a quick smile and wave before walking away. John Paul watched after him before heading back inside and closing the door behind him. He smiled in relief: this was – without a doubt – the most difficult year of his life, but he was so grateful that he had received the support from so many amazing people. And he wanted to keep his word in regards to helping Dirk: he would do anything he could do to help Dirk through his difficult time, the same way that Dirk had helped him.

* * *

><p><em><span><strong>BONUS<strong>__** - 6**__**th**__** February 2015 (following Will's death and Dirk receiving the first letter)**_

Dirk opened the door to find John Paul outside, wringing his hands uncomfortably with a subdued expression on his face.

"Hey" John Paul greeted quietly, "I heard about Will, and I am so sorry"

Dirk smiled gratefully and held the door open for John Paul to enter.

"I'll make some tea" John Paul suggested as Dirk closed the door

Dirk looked confused, "I'm the one that's supposed to do that"

John Paul shrugged, "I know it's your house, but it's **my** turn to take care of you, so don't even try to argue"

Dirk sniggered and nodded, "Tea sounds good, thanks"

John Paul smiled and turned towards the kettle to make the drinks. Dirk sat down at the table and watched him thoughtfully.

"Oh, I never got the chance to say 'congratulations' on your engagement" John Paul suddenly admitted, then looked at Dirk over his shoulder, "so 'congratulations'"

"Thanks" Dirk replied, "And congratulations on your wedding. I just hope we didn't steal your thunder"

"I'm a McQueen, no-one can steal a McQueen's thunder" John Paul reminded him

"Good point" he chuckled

A comfortable silence overcame them before Dirk asked, "So how's married life treating you?"

John Paul froze slightly before pouring the hot water into the mugs.

"What?" Dirk prompted, sensing that something was wrong

"Nothing"

"Come on John Paul" Dirk encouraged, "I know it's not 'nothing'. You can talk to me, what's going on?"

John Paul brought the cups to the table and set them down before hesitating, "It's Ste" he began.

Dirk rolled his eyes as he picked up his cup and blew on the liquid, "Why am I not surprised? Let me guess, something to do with Sinead and the sprog?"

"No" John Paul whispered, "He's got…" he took a deep breath, "he's got HIV"

Dirk almost did a spit-take with his mouthful of drink and John Paul would have laughed were it not for the grave situation.

"I probably shouldn't have told you that" John Paul realised sheepishly, "He's hardly told anyone and I've agreed to keep it to myself for now, so please don't say anything to anyone else"

Dirk smiled slightly, "After everything that happened last year, you really think I **wouldn't** keep this to myself?"

John Paul nodded, "Good point"

There was a short silence whilst the men sipped their drinks. Eventually John Paul spoke up, "So how are you?"

Dirk shrugged, "I have no idea" he muttered, "Will was pure evil, and I just did what I thought was right"

John Paul shook his head, confused, "What do you mean?"

"I was there" Dirk revealed, glancing down at the table "When he had the cardiac arrest. I was there and I didn't press the alarm. I wanted my son to die"

John Paul was distraught for the man, whose eyes were brimming with tears and whose chin was trembling. However, he completely sympathised; after everything that Will had done, he couldn't blame Dirk for turning against his son, though he was shocked by how extreme his actions were. John Paul laid a comforting hand on his arm.

"And now I'm paying the price for it" Dirk sniffed, retrieving the envelope from his pocket and passing it to John Paul. He read the words 'YOU LEFT YOUR SON TO DIE - AND I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU PAY' and John Paul was aghast by the threat.

"You have to report this to the police" he insisted

"I can't" Dirk hissed.

"Why not?"

"Because I deserve it" Dirk argued

"No you don't. No-one deserves this…" John Paul broke off suddenly and paused, recognising the familiarity of his own words and feeling like a hypocrite. He sighed, "Thank God we've got each other, 'ey?"

Dirk nodded whilst smiling a watery smile. John Paul took another sip of his tea and inwardly promised to look out for Dirk - it was the least he could do after everything the man had done for him. And he was going to make sure that Dirk wouldn't be alone through this.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading! And thanks again Llanea for the prompt – I actually <em>_loved __writing this, probably more-so than the first part (so much so that I added a bonus 2015 interaction), and I hope that I've captured the right tones and development throughout. I hope everyone enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it, and if anyone has any ideas for one-shots then please let me know. In the meantime, reviews are always appreciated!_


	6. Chapter 6: The Funeral

**The funeral**

_There are many things in McHay's storyline that I would have done differently myself. But the main one is starting it earlier (before late December/early January). So, what if John Paul and Ste had stopped being nemeses in early November 2013, at Doug and Leanne's funeral?_

* * *

><p>John Paul felt numb. There were no other words to describe it. He was attending the joint funeral of one of his closest friends and his ex-boyfriend, and he was gutted that he had lost both of them less than a week apart. In some ways he was thankful that it was a combined funeral: he wasn't sure if he would be able to cope going to two different ones so close together; at least this got all of the grief out of the way at once. Plus, it was appropriate for it to be a joint funeral because Doug and Leanne were best friends, and everyone knew that they would have wanted to be buried together. He felt helpless as he watched Dennis and Ste mourn for their loved ones. In fact, during Ste's eulogy, John Paul couldn't help feeling sympathetic towards the man that he had always disliked, and was particularly touched when he heard that Doug made Ste 'want to do the right thing', and hoped that he would carry on with that mind-set even though he was gone.<p>

As Leanne's coffin was being lowered into the ground, John Paul patted Dennis on the arm comfortingly. However, as Doug's was lowered John Paul felt an unexpected urge to wrap his arms around Ste in an embrace, but decided against it. Instead, he squeezed Ste's shoulder supportively and received a surprised glance from him, followed by a brief smile with red eyes that locked with his momentarily. John Paul felt slightly better to have provided some comfort to the man who was grieving for his husband. John Paul was the only other person who was close to understanding Ste's state: he had been in a relationship with Doug himself and appreciated everything about him. Although he had barely spoken to him – or Leanne for that matter – since they had broken up, he still cared about the young man, and John Paul inwardly made a promise to look out for Ste: he owed it to Doug.

xxx

John Paul tentatively approached the table where Ste and Leah sat. Ste was staring into space whilst Leah chatted away. Ste nodded and hummed at her as though he was paying attention, but John Paul knew that he wasn't.

"Hey" he greeted softly.

Ste blinked at him in shock whilst Leah glanced up at him quizzically. John Paul smiled slightly and gave a brief wave, "Hi Leah, I'm John Paul"

Leah smiled at him before grabbing her backpack and taking out a book. John Paul sat down in a chair across the table from Ste and glanced at him sympathetically.

"How are you doing?" John Paul asked gently

"Never better" Ste responded sarcastically.

John Paul felt a sense of déjà vu as he recalled Ste being beaten up about four months earlier, and providing the same answer to his question. He also remembered Doug being there, and that the situation would lead to their break-up. John Paul swallowed uneasily.

"I'm really sorry-" John Paul began, but Ste scoffed

"It's funny, isn't it? People keep apologising but it's not their faults" Ste murmured, "It's the person who made that stupid bomb who should be sorry"

John Paul shifted uncomfortably, "Well I actually found out that **Claire** made the bomb, and she intended for it to blow up The Loft and kill Mercedes, and probably the rest of us" he admitted.

Ste looked astonished, "So if Sinead hadn't taken it, thinking it was money…" he began, but John Paul gently grabbed his wrist to interrupt him

"Don't blame Sinead for this" he instructed softly, "It was an accident on her part. And if she hadn't taken it then this would probably have been **my** funeral, as well as Mercedes, Carmel, Nana, and probably Matthew" he became slightly tearful, "My whole family. Not Doug, Leanne or Ash; this shouldn't have happened to them"

Ste shook his head and his face became grim, "In that case, it's probably for the best that Claire's dead. She got exactly what she deserved"

John Paul could feel Ste's muscles tensing, so he rubbed his arm gently to soothe him. Ste's eyes met his in confusion and John Paul quickly pulled his hand away. An awkward silence overcame them, so Ste turned his attention to his daughter. As much as John Paul was usually reluctant to admit it, he knew that Ste worshipped his kids and always tried to do what was best for them. It was quite a sweet sight actually: Ste talking to Leah about the book that she was reading and asking her some questions about it; John Paul couldn't help smiling at the interaction.

Suddenly a thought occurred to him and John Paul cleared his throat, "Where's Lucas? I thought he'd be here"

"He's got the flu" Leah chipped in distractedly, still engrossed in her book.

"It's probably for the best" Ste commented, "Funerals are a horrible experience for a four year old"

John Paul nodded in agreement.

"He wanted to be here though" Ste continued with a slight smirk on his face, "He obviously doesn't understand what a funeral really means, 'cos if he did then he wouldn't have wanted to come"

John Paul grinned, "Sometimes it's better that way. One less person apologising unnecessarily"

Ste nodded and sniggered, and John Paul was glad to have improved his mood, however slightly. John Paul was slightly surprised by his change of feelings towards Ste: whether it was just sympathy or something else, he wasn't sure, but he wanted to do everything he could to help the grieving man during this dark time.

xxx

"Can I get you guys any more drinks?" John Paul asked as he rose out of his chair. Ste exchanged a look with Leah, who nodded.

"A couple of orange juices, thanks" Ste replied

John Paul smiled politely before heading over to the bar and Ste watched him thoughtfully. After a few moments, Sinead plonked herself down in the chair that John Paul was just sitting in.

"Whoa, that was well weird" she whispered

"What was?"

"You and John Paul being all buddy-buddy" she explained, "I thought you guys couldn't stand each other"

Ste honestly couldn't remember how or when his dislike of John Paul began, or even why it was still going on. John Paul seemed like a nice enough guy; he didn't **have** to make the effort to talk to him today, but he still did instead of leaving Ste alone with his miserable thoughts.

"Well he has every right to be here" Ste replied dismissively, "He was friends with Leanne, and he and Doug were… you know"

Sinead rolled her eyes, "That's why it's weird. You're sitting at a table having drinks with your dead-husband's ex-boyfriend, who is also seeing your dad"

Ste sighed, "What am I supposed to say to him? 'Go away, I've hated you since we were teenagers? Oh, and you slept with my ex-husband and ex-boyfriend, plus you've been having an affair with my dad which is really weird-'"

"And **you** almost went there too" Sinead pointed out

Ste shook his head, "Look, like I said before, we've just got to forget about that"

"How can you forget about almost sleeping with your own dad?" Sinead asked incredulously, "You have to face him every day"

Ste grimaced, "I know but there's no point rehashing it and tearing my family apart, is there? So what can I do about it except to keep quiet and move on?"

Sinead considered this before nodding reluctantly.

"So we're just gonna have to pretend that it never happened" Ste instructed her

"What never happened?" Sinead asked jokingly

Ste nodded in satisfaction, "Good" he responded, and then glanced over to the bar where John Paul was receiving the drinks, "Now, you'd better get out of John Paul's seat before he comes back"

Sinead put her hands up in a fake surrender before rising out of the seat, planting a quick kiss on his cheek and walking away. John Paul returned with the drinks and placed them down on the table before sitting down again. Ste smiled at him gratefully before offering one to Leah and glancing at John Paul shyly.

xxx

John Paul was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of Leah murmuring the lyrics to 'Glad You Came', the song that she and Doug used to sing whilst hoovering.

"That **is** a good song" John Paul noted quietly to Ste, "Doug had quite a nice singing voice actually, despite the accent"

Ste nodded, "Yeah, he did" he replied, smiling thoughtfully, then his face dropped and eyes widened dramatically, "But you should have heard him singing 'New York, New York'" he shuddered, "That's something I'll be glad never to hear again"

John Paul chuckled before noticing that Leah had quite a sweet voice, and he smiled.

"You have a lovely voice, Leah"

Leah smiled and blushed at his praise.

"I'm guessing you're planning to be a pop star in the future" he continued

Leah shook her head, "No. I want to be the first woman Prime Minister"

Ste and John Paul exchanged an amused look before giggling.

"Well I'm sure you'd make a great one" Ste responded, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and hugging her.

"What's the first law that you'd create?" John Paul asked, raising his drink to his lips.

Leah didn't even hesitate before replying, "Everyone has to have two daddies"

John Paul almost choked on his mouthful and swore that his heart melted at her words. He glanced at Ste, whose face was full of pride.

"You've raised her really well" John Paul whispered to Ste, "I only hope that Matthew grows up to be as sweet and accepting as your kids"

Ste smiled gratefully and took a sip of his drink. He was really beginning to reconsider his feelings about John Paul, and realised that he wasn't as bad as he had always thought.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading! I wasn't sure to what extent I wanted the story to develop (I could have carried on much further), but I only really wanted it to be about the funeral as I think there was a missed opportunity there. Also, though it's set around a funeral, I wanted to make it slightly sweeter and cheesier to contrast from the previous couple of chapters. Anyway, if anyone has any ideas (for either stories) feel free to let me know, and please leave a review!<em>


	7. Chapter 7: Finn's bullying

**Finn's bullying**

_Prompted by jamessuttonlover: what if, on the 12__th__ August 2014, Ste had overheard Finn and JP's fight at The Hutch but hadn't interrupted them?_

* * *

><p>John Paul's whole body trembled with a combination of fear and fury. Finn was looking him straight in the eyes and it took everything within John Paul not to flinch or show any signs of weakness. Finn already knew that he had a hold over him, and John Paul had previously told him that he wasn't going to be bullied by him any more, so he wasn't about to give Finn the satisfaction of proving that he was still frightened of him over six months since the attack.<p>

"You pathetic, weak-" Finn snarled

John Paul couldn't control his anger at that moment so his natural reflexes took over and he shoved Finn away violently, "Back off!" he exclaimed.

Finn looked taken aback by John Paul's response, but John Paul was too full of emotions to think rationally, and he stormed towards Finn, causing him to cower slightly.

"What, you think because you hurt me you can just keep intimidating me?" he continued, eyes fixed and voice full of rage.

Finn realised that John Paul had power over him in that moment, so in order to salvage it again he quickly recovered and stood up straight to look John Paul in the eyes, "You deserved everything that happened to you" he hissed

John Paul took a step back and shook his head, "No" he responded quietly, all of his dominance ebbing away, "No-one deserves that"

Finn smirked smugly, "How many times do we have to go over this?" he asked apathetically, "You were asking for it"

"Nobody asks to be raped" John Paul breathed.

Neither Finn nor John Paul realised that Ste was standing just outside the kitchen. Ste, frozen with shock, overheard this conversation and was tempted to enter and confront them. However, just as he had made the decision to do that, Finn barged through the double doors with a proud expression on his face, not even noticing Ste. Ste watched after him, deliberating whether to follow him or go into the kitchen to check on his boyfriend. Eventually, he glanced through the circular window in the door to see John Paul taking deep breaths and sipping water from a glass. In total shock from what he had just found out, Ste slowly left The Hutch, not bothering to remove his apron or warn the customers.

xxx

John Paul entered his house and leant against the front door, sighing in exhaustion from his encounter with Finn and having to take over at The Hutch, and he was also annoyed because of having to cover Finn and Ste's shifts without explanation as well. All John Paul wanted to do was go to bed, wrap up in his duvet (despite it being the height of summer) and never speak to or see anyone ever again. 'No such luck' he thought to himself as he remembered the fact that he lived with a number of loud-mouthed women who were unlikely to give him any peace. Reluctantly, John Paul traipsed into the living room and was surprised to spot Ste sitting on the sofa with a grave expression on his face. Marlena was watching him worriedly.

"Oh, hey" John Paul greeted his boyfriend, trying to hide the disappointment in his tone. Ste didn't respond immediately and continued to stare straight ahead of himself.

"Sort your fella out" Marlena insisted, "He's had that same expression since he arrived"

John Paul nodded and crept over to Ste, "What's wrong?" he asked

Ste glanced up at John Paul, then at Marlena, "Do you mind giving us a minute?"

Marlena raised an eyebrow, "You youths and all your relationship dramas" she began, rolling her eyes, "Why can't things ever be simple with you lot?"

John Paul smiled slightly at his nana's attitude as she ascended the stairs. He cautiously sat down beside Ste and rested a hand on his knee.

"Tell me what happened" he instructed softly, then looked anxious, "is it about your parents, or drugs?"

Ste shook his head, "It's about you" he whispered, "and Finn"

Although he was horrified by the idea that Ste knew that Finn was the one who attacked him, John Paul tried not to give it away and nonchalantly responded, "What about me and Finn?"

Ste leant in closer, "I know it was him that raped you" he hissed

John Paul's face became pale but he shook his head, "Why would you say that?"

"Because I heard you guys talking in the kitchen" he muttered, then raised a hand to stop John Paul from speaking, "And don't even dare try to change the subject by accusing me of eavesdropping, this is way more important"

John Paul gulped and Ste lowered his voice, "I know that he was the one who did it" he watched John Paul carefully, noticing his fixed expression, "You don't have to say anything, just nod your head or something" he instructed.

John Paul avoided his gaze and Ste could actually see his boyfriend's inner conflict. On the one hand, John Paul couldn't admit the truth because he was still so ashamed of himself and was scared of what Ste might do, though most importantly he was scared of what Finn might do if he confirmed Ste's suspicions. However, keeping it to himself was slowly tearing John Paul apart, and he realised that revealing all would feel as though a weight had been lifted, and he knew that he could trust Ste to keep it to himself. Slowly, John Paul nodded and Ste - although not surprised - was completely devastated so he reached out to rub his arm comfortingly. As Ste's hand made contact with him, John Paul flinched and shuffled away.

"Don't" John Paul whispered

"Don't what?" Ste questioned, "I just want to make sure you're alright"

"'Alright'?" John Paul repeated, "Of course I'm not alright"

Ste cleared his throat, "Well I'm gonna change that" he asserted determinedly, standing up.

"Wait, what do you mean?" John Paul asked, beginning to panic

"I'm gonna teach that little rat a lesson" Ste replied grimly.

John Paul stood up opposite him, shaking his head, "You can't. You don't know what he's capable of"

Ste snorted, "He's a teenager, he can't do anything to hurt…" he suddenly broke off as he noticed John Paul's crestfallen expression and realised that his boyfriend was still ashamed of the fact that Finn had managed to hurt him the way he did.

"I'm sorry" Ste whispered regretfully, "It's just that we need to do something"

John Paul tentatively took a step towards him, "We don't need to do **anything**" he insisted firmly.

Ste was outraged, "You mean you want to let him get away with it, let him parade around the village as if nothing's happened?" he cried, the volume of his voice rising, "You do realise you're putting everyone at risk having a rapist living here, don't you?"

"Keep your voice down!" John Paul hissed, "Look, just keep it to yourself, ok?"

Ste shook his head, "No, not 'ok'. I can't keep quiet about this"

John Paul gritted his teeth, "You can and you will" he ordered

"Is that a threat?" Ste asked warily

John Paul avoided his gaze, "It's an ultimatum" he replied coldly

Ste shook his head in disbelief, "I really don't get you sometimes" he responded before pleading, "John Paul, please talk to me"

John Paul held his gaze for a moment before collapsing onto the sofa. Ste carefully lowered himself down next to him.

"I'm scared, Ste" John Paul admitted tearfully, "Finn's just a kid and I hate being frightened of him. He has this hold over me and I can't do anything about it"

Ste stared at his boyfriend sympathetically, "But you **can **do something" he reassured him, "If you report him to the police then he can get exactly what he deserves and you can get the power back"

John Paul shook his head, "I can't, not yet" he argued, voice barely above a whisper, "I need to do this in my own time"

Ste nodded reluctantly, "Ok, I get that" he agreed, "But you can't keep it to yourself. We both know what keeping secrets can do, especially one like this"

John Paul nodded and Ste thought to himself, "Luckily you're not keeping it to yourself anymore"

John Paul glanced at him quizzically so Ste elaborated, "Now you've told me so you've got me for however long you need. I'll always be here, I promise"

John Paul smiled in relief, "Thank you" he whispered, "And I'm sorry for giving you an ultimatum, that was unfair"

Ste shrugged, "It was, but don't worry about it now" he reassured him. John Paul stroked his cheek before kissing him softly. At that moment Marlena came down the stairs and both of the men pulled away, looking panicked that she may have overheard their conversation. However, her cheery disposition suggested that she was still oblivious to what was going on.

"Don't let me interrupt you two love-birds" she began, strutting into the kitchen, "I'm just glad you've sorted out your petty dramas"

Ste and John Paul shared a knowing look and Marlena tutted, "There aren't any clean plates! You Gen Y kids are such a disgrace"

John Paul stood up, "It's ok nana, Ste and I will wash up"

"We will?" Ste questioned, irritated.

"Yes, we will" John Paul insisted firmly, grabbing his arm and pulling him over to the sink.

Ste sighed as he grabbed a dishcloth, "Fine, but you're washing and I'm drying"

John Paul smiled and winked at him before grabbing the first plate and proceeding to wash it. He was grateful for a distraction as trivial as washing dirty dishes with his boyfriend so that he wouldn't have to think about his ordeal. John Paul realised that everyone would find out the truth sooner or later, but he could trust the fact that Ste wouldn't be the person responsible for that, and hopefully John Paul would be in control of how it would be revealed.

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><p><em>Thanks for reading! And thanks to jamessuttonlover for the prompt. I know you were probably expecting this to be in 'The Aftermath', but because of the continuity the story had to go slightly AU so I made the decision to upload it here instead; I hope that's ok. Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed this, and please feel free to leave requests, reviews and prompts!<em>


	8. Chapter 8: Mercedes

**Mercedes**

_Prompted by Llanea, what if Mercedes had come into JP's room the night he was attacked and found out what happened to him?_

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><p>John Paul was sat on the edge of his bed, still hugging himself. He had not moved from that position since he had returned home and was set there like a statue. Unable to gather his thoughts properly, John Paul stared directly ahead, trying to focus on anything except the ordeal that he had just faced, with the events of the night passing through his head. He couldn't even shut his eyes without being transported back to that cold, hard classroom floor. John Paul was exhausted and his body felt heavy, but he couldn't turn his brain off so he predicted many sleepless nights ahead. Next to him, baby Matthew babbled quietly as if he was talking, asking his dad questions. John Paul couldn't bring himself to look at his son; he was so full of shame at what Finn had done to him and he didn't want his son to be ashamed of him for managing to be overpowered by a sixteen year old.<p>

Suddenly his bedroom door swung open and Mercedes poked her head in, "How did your date go?" she chanted gently.

John Paul didn't even notice her at first as he was still frozen in his place. Mercedes immediately noticed that something was wrong and entered gingerly.

"John Paul, what's wrong?" she asked cautiously.

John Paul blinked at her, only just having registered her presence, "Nothing" he whispered

"It's obviously not 'nothing'" she pointed out, "You look like hell"

John Paul didn't respond and Mercedes was genuinely worried, "Wow, you didn't even make a sarcastic remark, that's not like you"

John Paul shrugged and Mercedes carefully placed herself down beside him, "You know you're still wearing your work trousers, right?"

John Paul glanced down at himself before looking away sheepishly, "I guess I forgot to take them off" he murmured

Mercedes laid a gentle hand on his shoulder, which caused John Paul to jump off his bed, away from her touch.

"Seriously, what's wrong?" Mercedes asked

John Paul shook his head, "Nothing, I'm fine" he hissed

"No you're not" she argued, standing up, "You're as pale as a ghost, you're half-dressed and Matthew's been calling out to you whilst you've just been sat there"

John Paul tearfully looked away from his son, who had one of his arms extended towards him.

"So tell me what happened" she instructed, hands on her hips

John Paul shook his head, "I can't" he breathed

"Yes you can" she corrected him, looking him straight in the eyes "You can tell me anything"

They held each other's gazes for a moment before John Paul broke it and gulped, "You have to promise not to tell anyone" he whispered

Although Mercedes wasn't sure why her brother wanted to keep it a secret, she nodded anyway, "I won't" she replied

John Paul took a deep breath, "I was raped" he confessed, then closed his eyes so that he didn't have to see his sister's disgusted reaction.

Mercedes reeled backwards in shock, "You… you" she stammered, not being able to comprehend what she had just heard.

"Who?" she asked gravely, "Who did this to you?"

John Paul looked down to the floor and Mercedes shook her head, "It was Ste, wasn't it?" she demanded, heading to the door, "I'm gonna rip that creep apart!"

John Paul lurched forwards and grabbed his sister's arm, "No, it wasn't Ste!" he cried

Mercedes glared at him, "Don't protect him" she snarled

"I'm not" he argued, "It was Finn!"

As soon as the name had left his lips, John Paul regretted admitting that and covered his mouth. Mercedes stared at him, open mouthed and horrified. John Paul hung his head in shame: admitting that Finn was his attacker meant actually facing up to his weakness, which was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Finn?" Mercedes eventually managed to croak

Although in some ways John Paul wanted to lie and tell her that a stranger was responsible, he was too tired to do that so he just nodded.

Mercedes' heart broke for her brother, who was clearly struggling with his experience. She couldn't even begin to imagine what he was going through, but she knew someone who could understand. Although she was reluctant to leave John Paul, Mercedes realised that she had no choice here. She gently squeezed her brother's arm and noticed that his whole body tensed up; it startled her how an experience like that can take everything away from a person. John Paul seemed like a shell of the man he was twelve hours ago, and it devastated Mercedes that her brother was going through this experience.

"Where are you going?" John Paul asked as she opened the door, voice raspy.

"Outside" she replied shortly. The atmosphere suddenly felt stifling and she needed some fresh air, but didn't want to upset him

"Why?" John Paul asked, looking panicked.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna tell anyone" she reassured him

Mercedes could see her brother's whole body relax slightly and she gave him a small smile before leaving.

xxx

"Hey Jacqui" Mercedes greeted grimly, "it's Mercy"

"Yeah, I know. I can recognise your voice a mile away" Jacqui pointed out, "Why are you calling so late?"

Mercedes remembered that Spain was an hour ahead of the UK, but disregarded that because she reckoned that time was irrelevant in this case. She paused, "It's John Paul"

Jacqui sighed, "What's he done this time?" she asked, "Got himself into another secret love affair with another closet-case?"

"No" Mercedes whispered, "He's been raped"

Mercedes was taken aback by a banging noise over the phone but quickly realised that her sister had dropped her mobile in shock. A few moments later she heard Jacqui's voice, "He… he's been raped?" she repeated

"Yeah" Mercedes breathed, "By one of his students"

"Are you kidding me?" Jacqui hissed

"I wish I was"

"Where is he?" Jacqui demanded

"In his room" Mercedes told her, "I needed some air and some advice. I thought that because of what happened to you that you'd be able to help"

"Of course I'll help" Jacqui reassured her, "Even if I hadn't been through that then I'd still help" she hesitated, "You know I can't come home though, as much as I want to"

Mercedes nodded, "Yeah, I know" she choked out, "I just don't know what to do"

Mercedes fought back the tears that were welling. Everything had changed in a matter of minutes, and she hated to admit that she was overwhelmed and out of her comfort zone.

"Be there for him" Jacqui responded, "It's a devastating thing to go through, so for now just offer him support but don't push him to do anything he's not ready for"

Mercedes scoffed, "Sounds like you're reading that from a leaflet"

Jacqui sniggered, "Well it felt like it. I guess I was told the same thing over and over again when I was going through it" she exhaled, "Let him deal with it in his own time, and don't do anything stupid like going behind his back"

A shadow caught Mercedes' eye and she glanced at it, realising that it was Finn strolling past. She clenched her fist and murmured, "I've got to go"

"Oh, ok" Jacqui replied uncertainly, "Give the family my best then"

"I will" Mercedes murmured, hanging up. Watching Finn walking around casually made Mercedes feel sick. This kid had sexually assaulted her brother who was cowering in his room, traumatised from his experience whilst his attacker was wandering around as though nothing had happened. In fact, Mercedes could see Finn's smug expression and realised that he was gloating about what he had managed to do. Mercedes knew that the perpetrators revelled in the power that they felt after attacking someone, and she was overcome with the urge to physically remove the self-righteousness from his face. As she stormed over to him, Jacqui's words 'don't do anything stupid' rung in her head and she stopped dead in her tracks. Guiltily, she watched Finn disappear into the darkness, wishing she could do something to get him punished for what he did to John Paul. However, Mercedes decided that the best thing she could do for the time being was to be there for her brother whilst he came to terms with his attack, so she turned around and headed inside.

xxx

Mercedes poked her head into John Paul's bedroom to find that he had changed out of his school trousers and was huddled under his covers, hugging his knees to his chest. She carefully entered so not to disturb him.

"Hey" she began gently, "Are you ok?"

John Paul glanced at her and shook his head hesitantly. Mercedes tentatively crept in and perched herself down on the bed.

"I just saw him" Mercedes began.

John Paul glanced at her looking puzzled, so she explained, "Finn. I saw Finn outside"

Mercedes watched John Paul tremble and she rubbed his arm softly. She could feel the tension in her brother's body subside slightly and was relieved by the effect a mere gesture could have.

"Have you been to the police?" she asked quietly

John Paul nodded

"So why is Finn still around?" she snapped unwittingly

"I didn't report him" John Paul murmured

"Why not?" she hissed, "You could have had him locked away by now"

"I couldn't do it" he whispered, "Just the thought of admitting that it was him made me feel sick"

Mercedes reluctantly considered this, "So what happened?"

"Nothing" John Paul croaked weakly, "I reported it to Sam and she took me to the crisis centre. But I couldn't go through with it Mercy. They were all looking at me, judging me"

"They wouldn't judge you" Mercedes pointed out, "They probably deal with these kinds of cases every day"

John Paul nodded slightly, "I know, but I can't shake these feelings of shame and disgust" he choked out, "I hate myself"

Mercedes' eyes brimmed with tears and she reached out to embrace John Paul.

"Don't say that" she whispered into his shoulder, "You're so strong, and you've dealt with this so well. I'm proud of you, and I know that mum would be too"

Mercedes felt John Paul sniff heavily and she felt helpless as to what she was supposed to do to support him. Although Mercedes wanted to reassure her brother that he was wrong about how people would react, she understood his state of mind. She knew that anyone could be a victim in the same way anyone could be a perpetrator; it didn't matter what age, gender, ethnicity, occupation or sexuality they were, it could happen to anyone. She recognised the fact that he felt weak and violated on top of the shame and disgust that he was feeling as well, and she understood why he would think that people would judge him, but she just wanted to assure him that they wouldn't. However, Mercedes knew that it wasn't the right time to give her distressed brother a pep-talk: that would have to wait at least until he had recovered from the initial shock. She was unsure about what the future held for John Paul, but she was determined to be by his side while he faced it, no matter what.

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><p><em>Thanks for reading! And thanks Llanea for the request: I wasn't sure how far into the storyline I should go with this, and I wasn't sure that setting it all in one night (like McSavage part 1) was going to work, but I'm rather happy with it and hope you (and everyone else) enjoyed it nonetheless! As usual, if anyone has any ideas for one-shots, please let me know. And remember that reviews are always welcome!<em>


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